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These Women Are Hot but We Don’t Know Why

We all know the typical attributes in women that men are supposed to find attractive — brains, sure, but primarily legs, boobs, and butts, right? So crude, so degrading, so true.

But even though I appreciate the female form as much as anyone, I am also aware that there are a few things about womankind that drive us wild — aside from the obvious.

After all, Megan Fox may well be a very sexy woman, yet where’s the charm, the quirkiness, the je ne sais quoi in her that some women possess to make them the amazing creatures that they are?

What Makes a Woman Intriguing to a Man?

To this end, I have thought long and hard about what it is in women that men love that you wouldn’t normally think of. These traits may seem a little odd but, seriously, they’re very true. And I promise you that you’ll agree.

10 Traits That Make a Woman Hot

1. Girls With Large Headphones…What’s so hot about them?  So they’ve got giant, plastic, music-pumping cups clamped around their heads. Why is that hot?

Well, besides showing the world that they’re obsessed with music (very hot), if girls can still look good with a pair of metal clams strapped over their ears, well, then, they’ve got to be really, really hot without the headphones, too. And that’s hot, basically.

attractive woman with long hair and white headphones, or beats, wrapped around her neck as she crosses the street

Where to meet one: “High Fidelity”–style record stores, on the subway heading to Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and, in Zach Braff’s case, in doctor’s office waiting rooms, where you can regularly find Natalie Portman chilling out while listening to The Shins.

2. Girls who use correct punctuation in their text messages…

What’s so hot about them? They’ve taken the time to text you — long-hand. No “C U L8R”s or “LOL”s or any nonsense like that. Just pure, unadulterated English that’s not only intelligent but intelligible. It shows that she has style, sophistication, and class — in text-message form.

smart woman who uses correct grammar and punctuation as she writes on her laptop sitting on her bed

Where to meet one: In English literature departments at your local university and at the most pretentious cafe near you.

3. Girls who happen to be on the same bus/train/plane as you…

What’s so hot about them? They don’t even have to be that hot, they just have to be … there. A bit of eye-flirting, some curious glances, and you’re in love — until they step off the train and out of your life forever.

Just by being on the same mode of public transport as you, they’ve somehow become 4,275 percent more attractive, bringing some magic into your sad, sad life. And if you had the stones, you’d talk to them. But you don’t, so you don’t. Sad face.

attractive woman at a subway station waiting for the next train

Where to meet one: Unsurprisingly, trains, planes and automobiles — more specifically, buses.

4. Girls with ever-so-slight speech impediments…

What’s so hot about them? What is it about a girl with a lisp? (Just a little one, mind you, but a lisp nonetheless.) They’re adorable, and yet so sexy, too, somehow. You could listen to them for hours, reading poetry, singing songs, or reciting the football results, their slightly unusual voice making them unbearably cute.

beautiful blonde woman with parted lips and slight gap between teeth suggesting she may have a lisp

Where to meet one: Another total-luck one here, you’ll just have to find one on your travels. I advise talking to them first, rather than just guessing that they look like someone who can’t pronounce their R’s.

After all, Megan Fox may well be a very sexy woman, yet where’s the charm, the quirkiness, the je ne sais quoi in her that some women possess to make them the amazing creatures that they are?

5. Girls riding old-fashioned bicycles…

What’s so hot about them:? Maybe it’s the hair flowing in the wind, the flowery dresses, the billowing scarves, and the giant sunglasses — but there’s something special about a girl riding an old bike.

It’s as if, when they stop and ask you for directions, they’ll take off their glasses and it’ll actually be 1960s Audrey Hepburn under there. Somehow. Maybe. I hope.

hot woman in a flowered dress riding an old fashioned bike

Where to meet one: According to the fantastically wonderful Copenhagen Cycle Chic, it’s the mean streets of Denmark’s capital where they seem to congregate like children round an ice cream van. If you don’t happen to be in Scandinavia, however, Brooklyn and San Francisco are also good places to see be-bicycled beauties.

6. Girls with scarves in their hair…

What’s so hot about them? Perhaps this is another 1960s throwback, but there’s something particularly cute about a little lady with a little scarf in her hair, her locks gently waving in the breeze. Bows, hairbands, Alice bands — they do nothing for us. But a piece of multi-colored fabric over her hair? Rawr …

beautiful blonde woman in a vintage automobile with a scarf wrapped around her head and pointy sunglasses like grace kelly

Where to meet one: In poetry cafes, at libraries, and in those shops that allow you to paint your own pottery. You’ll often find them on old-fashioned bikes, too, which is something so attractive that it might just make you cry. Cry, damn you!

7. Girls who only laugh at your genuinely funny jokes…

What’s so hot about them? You might think that a girl that laughs at all of your jokes would be sexier — but trust us, it’s not. Either they’re so sycophantic that it’s a turn-off, or they’re not even listening and just giggling at the appropriate moments. Not even you are that funny.

You need someone who has as good a sense of humor as you do (if you even have one) — a woman who’ll only laugh when you’ve cracked a truly funny joke, so that you can eventually become a stand-up for a living, and eventually ride a flying pig to work … at the CIA.

beautiful woman dressed in winter clothes covering her mouth in laughter at her man's funny jokes

Where to meet one: At improv nights, at novelty stores and, of course, on the Internet.

8. Girls who get just as competitive as you when playing games…

What’s so hot about them? Women who are willing to throw themselves into the thick of things will never get old. You know, the kind that will try to get there first if you want to run to the corner, just for a laugh. Or the kind who’ll scream with excitement when she beats you at “Mario Kart” or slam the table in frustration when you whip her at Monopoly. Competitive girls, I love you, love you, love you.

attractive woman sitting at a park holding a basket ball because she's competitive and has just finished playing a game

Where to meet one: Gyms, sporting events and running around local parks in work-out clothes.

9. Girls who can’t dance…

What’s so hot about them? This is an odd one, I know, but bear with us. Girls who can dance sexily are, well, sexy, sure — but please be aware that most men can’t dance. I certainly can’t – I am like a windmill in an earthquake on the dance floor, I promise you.

So meeting a girl who’s cute, but can’t, and won’t, and doesn’t want to dance, well, that’s a dream. A sexy woman who doesn’t thrive off grinding on strangers? That’s a rare find!

woman at a concert who can't dant and is waving her arm up in the air

Where to meet one: Not nightclubs, as you might have guessed. But if you spot a girl at a dance club awkwardly leaning against a wall and trying to be cool, you’ve struck gold. Otherwise, it’s just blind luck, to be honest.

10. Girls who know an obscene amount of trivia…

What’s so hot about them? What’s great about a woman who knows a lot of random facts is that there’s a passion driving her desire to know all there is to know about the likes of, say, Cambodia, the films of Stanley Kubrick or the 1987–1996 Montreal Expos. And passion, in all its forms, is a very attractive thing. Besides, it’s fun and potentially profitable to join forces with her at the weekly trivia night.

beautiful smart woman wearing glasses and reading a book and she's attractive because of her knowledge

Where to meet one: Pub quizzes, the library and in the geography section of your local bookstore.

Do you agree? Do you not agree? What else should be added to the list? Women who can swear, really well? Women who love practical jokes? Women who can throw a decent punch?

I want your thoughts on the topic of “It’s hot, but I’m not sure why” and I want them now. Drop them in a comments section below, why don’t you?

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