If you’re looking for love in today’s complicated dating culture, you’re certainly aware of the pitfalls that dating in the 21st century can bring. This is because dating is not like it used to be. The proliferation of online dating sites has given us an abundance of people to choose from and the pickings are plentiful. Online dating sites offer a veritable feast of dating options. A dater’s dream. A smorgasbord filled with unlimited options and selection of people with just the swipe of a finger.
Opportunities for casual relationships and hookups abound—all with relative anonymity and without the trappings of commitment.
This impersonal dating culture has led to practices that are manipulative, unscrupulous, and superficial. These trends emphasize the shallow nature of modern dating, so it’s no wonder that many singles say that they are lonely and burned out by dating.
The modern dating world has provided a whole new vocabulary of dating terms and trends: breadcrumbing, cushioning, ghosting, and catfishing to name a few. These practices undoubtedly make anyone hoping to establish a love connection wary of being played.
Hidden among these funny new labels is a concept as old as time itself: “monkeying.” I’m sure you’ve encountered that pesky primate at one point or another. You know, the one who jumps from vine to vine, er… I mean relationship to relationship in search of new love.
In today’s dating environment, opportunities abound for casual relationships and hookups—all with relative anonymity and without the trappings of commitment. This creates the perfect breeding ground for the serial dater.
The person metaphorically referred to as a monkey is nothing more than a serial dater. And if you’re not careful, you will be fooled by this prepossessing primate, have your heart broken, and left wondering where you went wrong.
6 Characteristics of a Serial Dater
1. Goes from relationship to relationship, and isn’t single for very long. Serial daters don’t like to be without romantic involvement. They love to be in a relationship, be it for weeks, months, or years.
2. In love with the idea of being in love, not the actual person. The serial dater is typically in love with the concept of love and what it represents. He or she is not necessarily in love with the person they’re dating, but rather the notion of them.
3. Emotionally unavailable and will start to distance him or herself from you. Serial daters are notorious commitment-phobes. They don’t want to commit to the person they’re with because they’re usually in search of their next conquest.
4. Gets a high from the chase. They love the thrill they get when they’re pursuing their next conquest. They like the challenge and the courtship stage. They may shower their object with gifts and romantic gestures.
5. Rushes into sex. Serial daters will pressure you to have sex early on. Because they seem like they’re very into you and it’s part of their conquest strategy.
6. Is extremely charming. Because serial daters are social beings, they can say the right things and make you think that they’re really into you. This smooth operator is just playing you like a fiddle.
Is a Serial Dater a Serial Monogamist?
A serial dater CAN settle down–for a period of time anyway. If they find a person they genuinely fall in love with, they turn into serial monogamists. They’ll stay in the relationship until the passion fizzles out and then they’ll move on to the next one. The problem with the serial dater or serial monogamist is that they cannot be alone for protracted periods of time. They are terrified of the idea of being alone and lonely; therefore, they seek affection in the arms of the next paramour.
Are You a Serial Dater?
If you find that many of these characteristics describe you, then you may be a serial dater. If you want to find true love, you must realize that you will not make an emotional connection by flying from vine to vine like our proverbial primate. Look within yourself to identify why you are engaging in behaviors that prevent you from finding a meaningful relationship and consider remaining single while you figure things out.
Don’t Take the Serial Dater Too Seriously
The truth is that being dumped by a serial dater is not about you. It’s about them. A serial dater can be very charming at the onset of the relationship. This person is enthusiastic, social, and engaging. He or she is in love with the idea of love. They get a high from the chase, the endorphins released in the first stages of dating. They are all into you and then when the burning flames of passion turn to ash, the serial dater moves on to the next lover.
So if you happen to be dating a serial dater just know what you’re getting into. Don’t have any expectations that this is going to turn into a long-term relationship. Go out, have fun, but know that he or she will not be around for long because the urge to jump to pick the fresh fruit of the next vine will keep them monkeying around forever and a day. And while you do want to date and put yourself out there, at the same time, you’ll want to be savvy and guard your heart.