You’ve been best friends for years. You finish each other’s sentences. He “gets” you like no one else does. It’s no wonder you wake up one day and realize, “I’m in love with my best friend.”
Friendship is one of the most important bonds in the human experience. Friends have been shown to help us reduce stress, lend a shoulder to lean on, help us through tough times, and yes, even provide occasional drama. Someone very wisely said that friends are the family we choose.
And finding and connecting with a person we can call a friend is as amazing as finding a person we can fall in love with. So when you realize you’re falling in love with your best friend, you shouldn’t be surprised at all. In fact, falling in love with a best friend is very common, especially if the best friend is of the opposite sex.
Can men and women be friends? This question always brings me back to the movie When Harry Met Sally. One of the lessons learned was that men and women can’t be friends because lying below the facade of a platonic relationship, is a sexual tension ready to manifest itself at any moment. This is between heterosexual male and female besties, with men especially having romantic notions about their female friend.
When you realize you’re falling in love with your best friend, you shouldn’t be surprised at all. In fact, falling in love with a best friend is very common, especially if the best friend is of the opposite sex.
When You Fall in Love With Your Best Friend
So what are you to do when you find yourself falling for your BFF? First, clarify your feelings. Are you really in love with your friend or are you harboring some fantasy of what this relationship could be like? Do you want your friend because the relationship is unattainable and you enjoy a challenge or do you truly love him? If you look inside your heart and can honestly tell yourself why you think you are in love with your best buddy, then you are ready to take action.
Being in love with your best friend is complicated, to say the least. But if you feel that he may be the love of your life, then you owe it to yourself and to your friendship to be honest and take the courageous step to let your true feelings be known.
Confessing You’re in Love
When you decide to open your heart and tell your friend that you’re in love with him, it’s obvious you’re taking a big risk. You’re risking jeopardizing the friendship and losing your best friend. But loving someone always involves risk-taking. This is a chance you have to take if you feel this is a love worth fighting for.
You shouldn’t expect him to reciprocate immediately. He will probably be stunned and the moment may feel awkward and tense. Make sure you let him know that you don’t expect an answer right away but that you think that he is a great person and you’re hoping he may have feelings for you.
Being in love with your best friend is complicated, to say the least. But if you feel that you are truly in love with this person, then you owe it to yourself and to your friendship to be honest and take the courageous step to let your true feelings be known.
Be prepared for some temporary distancing as your friend processes the situation. It’s only normal since he has just been blindsided with a huge revelation. He needs time to let it sink in and analyze his own feelings. Make sure that you don’t demand an answer right away since your friend may not be sure of his feelings for you.
Your Friend May Not Feel The Same Way About You
Be prepared for rejection. Your friend may not feel the same way about you. And you should be ready to accept it. If you want to continue the friendship and he does too, you shouldn’t pine for his love hoping that one day he’ll feel the same. Meet new people and move on with your life. And understand that the friendship you used to have is not the same. The nature of the relationship will change because when you tell someone you’re in love with them, that is a game changer. The friendship can never go back to how it was.
You must also accept the possibility that you must distance yourself from your friend if your feelings of love persist and you cannot get on with your life and on to new romantic partners.
Falling in love with your best friend is more common than you think but many couples have started out as friends and have ended up in long-lasting and loving relationships. And this is the best-case scenario! Other friendships have fallen apart because one person is in love and the other does not reciprocate the feeling.
Whatever your situation is, saying nothing and keeping your feelings bottled up inside is not the best option. You don’t want to live your life not knowing that there was a possibility of finding true love and happiness with the one person who is also your best friend. And who knows, perhaps your friend is also harboring secret romantic feelings about you and you can turn your friendship into a deep and meaningful love.