How to Ensure Your First Date Turns Into a Second One
So you go on your first date with butterflies in your stomach and filled with excitement and anticipation because he finally asked you out. You want to make sure everything goes smoothly because you really, really like him. And you want him to like you, too! How should you act? What should you say? Should you be funny, mysterious, talkative, quiet, sexy, reserved? All these thoughts are like a whirlwind of nervous emotions that can end up making you sabotage the date. But not to worry, because I’ll give you 10 solid tips on how to ensure your first date turns into a second one.
Let me give you 5 Dos and 5 Don’ts to make sure your dreamboat doesn’t end up ghosting you and ends the relationship before it even gets off the ground.
5 DOs: Do This to Get a Second Date
1. Be yourself. Act in a way that will show your true character. But what does that even mean, to be yourself? Being yourself is letting go of the pretentiousness and not caring what others think of you. This is kind of an oxymoron because on a first date you clearly care what he thinks of you. But what I mean is that you don’t need to act restrained in your opinions. Pretend you’re with your best friend. How would you act? How would you feel? What would you say? You’d probably free of anxiety and not worried about what they’d think of you. Do the same on your date. He will probably be impressed by your confidence and self-assurance.
2. Show Interest. Ask Interesting questions that show you’re interested in knowing more about him. Nothing is more of a buzzkill than having a conversation with someone who’s apathetic and does not show interest in the other person. Playing hard to get does not mean that you are stand-offish and dismissive. Ask him questions that show him you are genuinely interested in getting to know him as a person. Don’t hog the conversation by talking all about yourself and not letting him put in a word. That’s not only off-putting, but it’s also rude. Let your body language show that you are confident and at ease.
3. Be prepared. Have some topics of conversation ready to roll in case your date is shy or you need to fill those awkward silent pauses. Some guys are shy and won’t know how to start or continue a conversation. Have some conversation topics prepared so that you can save the date. Ask him about his childhood, how he came to live in the city where he now resides. Ask him about his family, pets, travels, hobbies, foods he likes… In short, these topics are not super invasive and can probably give you both some commonality.
4. Let him pay. Believe it or not, most men will offer to pay when they’re taking out a woman they like. If you refuse to let him pay you are actually sending a signal that you are not interested in him. You may want to offer to go Dutch, but if he insists, then graciously accept and thank him.
5. Make plans for a second date. Most couples who make it to their second date, make concrete plans during their first date. If he’s a little shy, you can bring up the subject. Let him know that you are interested in getting together again. If he balks and seems hesitant, then you know he’s not that into it and you can move on.
5 Don’ts: Don’t Do This if You Want to Go Out a Second Time.
1. Start Planning Your Wedding. I heard someone once say that some women wear their wedding dress on their first date, metaphorically speaking, of course. I know you like this guy a lot and you probably want to have a long-term relationship that will lead to marriage, but don’t go on a date with someone you’re just meeting and assume that he will be the one. Guys can pick up on your desperation and will run for the hills. And besides, it’s very likely that you have a first, second, and even third date and you find out you don’t really like him after all ( or vice versa).
2. Talk about your problems. Okay, so nobody cares that your cat had the hives and you spent a ton of money on vet bills, especially someone you’ve just met. He’ll think you like drama and are probably high maintenance. Save your whining for your mother, your best girlfriend, or psychotherapist.
3. Drink too much alcohol. Really, don’t. You’ll be impaired and end up making an ass of yourself. You will only embarrass yourself the next day when you realize that you had too many margaritas and stumbled on the floor and broke your tooth. You can also put yourself in a dangerous situation if you are impaired at a place with a total stranger.
4. Talk about your ex-boyfriend. Ugh, this is similar to not talking about your problems. Really, your date does not want to hear about your ex and why you broke up. What could he possibly say to you? He doesn’t know your ex and he probably doesn’t want to start a relationship in his shadow. So avoid this common pitfall.
5. Have sex. Nope. This is what to do if you DON’T want to have a second date. I know this is the 21st century and this seems like extremely sexist advice, but you see, men are hardwired to be the hunters. It’s in their primitive DNA, so if you give it up too quickly, chances are they will get bored and move on to a more challenging hunt. So resist the temptation of going back to his or your place.
Follow These Tips and He Will Be Asking You Out On a Second Date
Getting to know someone for the first time can be a bit intimidating, especially when there is the potential for long-term romance. And that adds the extra pressure of wanting the date to go as smoothly as it could. But although you want him to see you in your perfect glory, you do not want to come across as someone you really are not. You want to portray yourself in a positive light while being true to yourself and letting your personality shine through. Follow these tips and I’m sure he’ll be asking you out for a second date before the first date is over. And who knows, a first date may lead to a second, a third, and before you know it, you’re in the midst of a beautiful romance!