10 Changes You Can Make to Find True Love and Happiness in the New Year
A year ends and a new one begins filled with the hope and anticipation of a fresh start. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of a blank page and its endless possibilities to improve your life, such as your diet, your finances, and most importantly, your relationships. The new year always makes for the perfect catalyst to bring about the positive changes that can lead you to find love and happiness. Let’s look at 10 attainable and effective changes you can make to help you find true love and happiness in 2019.
1. Be open to meeting new people. Be open to going on blind dates, and allow your friends and family to set you up. You cannot be too proud to tell your friends, co-workers, family that you are interested in meeting someone. I often meet single people who say they’re not looking, but actually want to find someone to share their life with. Try online dating, too. Yes, sometimes it can seem like looking for a needle in a haystack, but your one true love may be just a click away. And you never know unless you put yourself out there.
2. Control your Emotions. Change the way you react to situations and circumstances. Become self-aware of your triggers or sensitivities, and recognize what sets you off. If the way you handle challenges or setbacks sends you into an emotional tailspin, try to recognize your feelings and work through them as you experience them. This will keep you more in control of your emotional stability, which puts you in a better place mentally to meet new people.
3. Curb your Expectations. Unrealistic expectations set you up for certain disappointment because life never turns out how we planned. Don’t think that people will or should act in the way that you expect them to. Don’t put pressure on yourself to live up to unattainable standards, especially if they’re someone else’s expectations. Don’t think that situations will come out as perfectly planned. Life doesn’t happen in neat little packages and things don’t work out as we plan them. Be flexible, go with the flow, and you won’t be disappointed. Remember that we all speak in our own love language, so consider someone else’s communication style as often as you can to avoid disappointment and conflict.
4. Become involved in organized social activities. Getting involved in events and connecting with people outside your sphere will help you expand your social circle, meet other people, and look at life from new perspectives. Look for social organizations such as churches, book clubs, shelters, sports, and community-sponsored events where you can volunteer and give of your time. You’ll learn to appreciate what you have and you may also meet like-minded people with whom you can connect and establish friendships.
5. Break your patterns. Go out, don’t stay in. Shop at a different grocery store, attend a different park, bar, or church. People tell me they never meet any quality people, but this is because they never venture out past their circle of friends, family, and coworkers. If you’re serious about meeting someone in the new year, or even just breaking up a rut, then change your patterns. Remember: if you never change, nothing else will. Getting out of your comfort zone is always a good idea.
The new year always makes for the perfect catalyst to bring about the positive changes that can lead you to find love and happiness.
6. Reflect on the past year. If you want to break patterns, glean understanding and develop self-awareness, you must reflect. And reflecting on the year that has ended is a good way to look at the decisions and habits that brought you to where you are today. Self-improvement cannot happen without insight and reflection. Look at the good and the bad together, analyze what worked and what didn’t. Give yourself credit and cut yourself some slack, while also looking critically at ways to improve on past mistakes.
7. Set intentions, not resolutions. Resolutions are easily broken because they are goals and ultimatums that usually entail a long laundry list of unrealistic expectations. Instead, set out to live with intention, which I like to see as a journey with a purpose. Living with intention is developing a conscious approach of the choices that you make. It’s knowing that your choices have consequences and that you are in control.
8. Write them out. Writing out your intentions and desires is an excellent way to stay on track. Write down your dreams and goals. Revisit them often. Make sure you write them in a specific way since you need to be clear about what it is you want. Post them in a place that is accessible and frequent for you — is it your home screen? Your bathroom mirror? Your windshield? Find the place that will ground you and help hold you accountable. Out of sight, out of mind…
9. Stay accountable. Staying accountable means recognizing that you are responsible for most of your successes and failures. Staying accountable means that outside factors and circumstances are no longer seen as excuses for not meeting your goals and dreams. You and you alone are in charge of your destiny. This change in mindset is incredibly empowering. Know the difference between beating yourself up and holding yourself accountable.
10. Believe. Believe that you will meet someone. Have faith because when you believe, you are proactively sending out signals and letting the universe know that you are waiting in expectation. It’s the law of attraction. The universe will send you what you put out.
As you can see, the key to finding true love and happiness in the new year is being proactive and being intentional about your goals and desires. You cannot sit alone at home waiting for prince charming to knock on your door and for happiness to suddenly overcome your soul.
Don’t be afraid to go out and open yourself to love. If you’ve been hurt in the past, it’s understandable that you’d be wary of putting yourself out there and getting your heart broken again. If this is the case, think about past mistakes and try not to repeat them.
The new year presents a fresh opportunity to make real changes. It’s in the air. Everyone is redesigning their lives and you should too. By making these changes, you will see that you will be that much closer to finding your ideal mate and finding the true love and happiness that you deserve.